File this under “so relatable.”
- Pay to park? Why isn’t this included in the cruise price? That’s not even fair.
- And this is why I sneak booze in…to save money that I have to spend for parking.
- This Listerine bottle better work. I spent 4 hours mixing the perfect color for it last night. If only they taught that in chemistry class.
- Yes, I really do need all that mouthwash, I have halitosis okay?
- Mission accomplished. I AM A NINJA. A VODKA NINJA.
- There are way too many people here. Are they all going to fit on the ship?
- How does this ship even float with all those people on it?
- Welcome aboard! Vacation starts now!
- Can I go to the bow of the ship like Leo in Titanic?
- And will Leo be there? Because it’ll only be worth it if he is.
- Do those 80’s style wrist band things really prevent seasickness?
- Am I queasy? I’m definitely queasy.
- Just waiting on my sea legs to come in. I sound like such a sailor when I say that.
- Or maybe a pirate.
- I should probably talk like a pirate during the entire cruise.
- Ahoy matey! I wonder how many free ice cream cones I can eat today?
- Six. The answer is six. Definitely not wearing a bikini tomorrow.
- Maybe I can exercise or something.
- 47 laps around the deck = one mile? Nope.
- If I’m eating dinner with the captain, who’s driving the ship?
- I’m totally going to get up early tomorrow to snag a chair by the pool.
- How did I already miss breakfast? Pizza it is!
- Of course there are no more pool chairs left. Did everyone wake up at sunrise or did they just stake out their spot late last night?
- Oooh, I should play shuffle board.
- How does one actually play shuffle board?
- Why is the waterslide for kids only?
- I’m basically a kid, right? I’ll just hunch over so they don’t see how tall I am.
- Worst. Wedgie. Ever.
- Drink of the day for $14? What do you think I am, a billionaire?
- Ugh, but the vodka is in my room and this comes in a SOUVENIR GLASS. That’s basically like a free gift.
- I deserve this. And it’s so hot out.
- Holy cow, that is delicious! Another!
- What if I get really drunk and fall overboard?
- Do those round lifesaver things really work?
- I wonder if they sell Lifesavers in the duty-free gift shop.
- And why don’t they make a roll of all red Lifesavers. Because those clearly are the best flavor.
- What the heck is that towel animal supposed to be, a bear?
- A dog. Definitely a dog.
- Better take a picture for Facebook so I can post it next week when I get Wifi again.
- Only four hours at this port. Better make it count.
- Forget the excursions, I want to immerse myself in the local culture.
- Should I get hair braids? I can totally rock hair braids. I’m basically an islander already. Yeah mon!
- I look ridiculous.
- What if I miss the boat?
- I’m pretty sure it leaves at 3:00. Or was it 2:00?
- I better start running.
- I’m going to have to live on this island by myself and start a new life and live off seaweed and crabs and lasso them with my hair braids.
- And there’s the port. Guess I wasn’t that far.
- I wish I had my sunglasses.
- Oh right. The elephant in my room is still wearing them.
- Early bedtime tonight. I’m getting the first chair. And the first ice cream cone.
- I’ll just take the stairs to burn off the calories.
- No way. I’m on vacation. The elevator was made for vacations.
- I can’t believe the week is over already! Why do I have to leave my bag in the hallway tonight?
- What if someone takes all my dirty clothes? I mean, that would be weird.
- I’m not ready to leave.
- I literally can’t walk on land. I have no land legs.
- Don’t mind me, just walking with swag.
- I actually gained 5 pounds from this cruise, and now I’m wobbling it everywhere when I walk.
- Eh, the extra weight is probably just from the beads in my hair braids.
- Looks like all my dirty clothes arrived safely!
- I can’t wait to go on another cruise.
